Take the gorgeous Inessa Chimato, put her in a nice bikini on the beach, give her a hula hoop and attach a GoPro camera, and you have one awesome video!
Ladies and gentleman, it is with mild vexation and great accountability that I present you with the bane of existence to every good woman’s humility—The Tool.
Or in the case of this Google searched random Jpeg, “The Tools.”
Many great years ago, in a time where women churned butter, horses lead carriages, and meals were not microwavable, men were, for arguments sake, a lot less dumb. To specify: financial secure men with good upbringings, solid educations, and hopeful futures were a lot less dumb and/or lazy. Keeping up appearance meant securing a fine career, courting a nice lady, and settling in a respectable home. However, as the years passed, Nintendo came to be, and way to much acknowledgement was given to reality stars and fake tans, men started to believe that loads of hair gel, a cool car, and Hot Pockets always on hand were away to not only build self confidence, but also to gain respect from others.
Gross.
What we have here in this picture is a great example of The Tool because not only does it display his lack of virtue, inept fashion sense, and horrid hairstyle, but it also exhibits his conformity, crippled creativity, and, again, horrid hairstyle.
You see, while The Tool is harmless, vapid, and shallow, he is also useless, annoying, and irreverently cocky. Confidence is a beautiful thing, for sure; but fake tans, Muscle Milk, Bud Lights, Polo’s, living at home, and treating girls like a pizza delivery service because you believe you “got it like that,” is nothing short of repugnantly repelling.
If you want to date many a Snooki (minus her fame and fortune) then go ahead, dress, act, and be like these guys.
However, if you want to date an actual woman who will respect you and not make a shit-ton of fun of you behind your back, drop the act you think is so cool, develop a hobby that is not related to gym-tan-laundry, and possibly, read a book.
You are living in a privileged world. Take advantage of it by exploring it, learning about it, and thriving in it. Not by sitting on your mom and dad’s couch while playing video games, eating frozen food, and disrespecting women.
Let 2013 be the year men redeem themselves, and I promise you, women will do what they can to make sure accidents like Lindsay Lohan and Heidi Montag will never happen again.
At approximately 8:30pm on a Monday evening at the Barnes and Noble Café, Union Square, this exchange between two strangers took place:
Middle Age Man: (upon noticing the young lady seated next him chewing on a piece of gum) Excuse me, could I have a piece of gum?
Young Lady: (with a half perplexed half confused look on her face) I don’t even know you.
Middle Aged Man: Well no, but it’s just a piece of gum.
Young Lady: Right. And because I don’t know you, I’m going to have to go with “no” on this one because I think its weird you even asked. I mean, next time at least strike up small talk that leads up to the mooching.
Middle Aged Man: Are you serious? It’s just a piece of gum. Nobody has ever said no to me before for gum.
Young Lady: I’m embarrassed for you that this is something you do often.
Middle Aged Man: Wow. What is it, like 25 cents? You can’t spare a piece of gum? Really?
Young Lady: Yeah so buy your own.
Middle Age Man: (scoffing) That kind of attitude will get you far.
You have to admit it – this new Corvette Stingray, the new C7 model, is just a badass car. GM has had its share of issues, but it really looks like they got this one right. You can check out this Corvette gallery for more photos and check out the video below, along with photos that show the evolution of the Corvette. Also, check out photos from the Detroit Auto show.
This seventh body type really looks like a winner.
Regardless of your politics, those of us who love poker and gambling have to be thankful that Harry Reid keeps pushing the interests of the gaming industry. His latest efforts are on behalf of Indian tribes in Texas, as they try to bring gaming to a state that only has one measly casino. He is getting some flack however as this is reminiscent of a project crazy Jack Abramoff tried to get through ten years ago.
Of course Reid’s more important initiatives involve trying to get federal regulations for online poker. The courts have hit the feds hard by acknowledging that poker is a game of skill as opposed to a game of chance, so now the feds need to move in if they want to get regulations in place before the states dive in.
At least we’re seeing a new appreciation for poker, after years of the feds trying to tie that with other forms of online gambling. Many of us love playing online, looking for suckers in online poker rooms and working with party poker bonus codes to get more credits.
But when you learn those killer skills online you want to bring them to a live poker room and try out your tactics face to face. There’s nothing like bluffing in person, and then pulling in real chips and stacking them up when you win. Hopefully, Reid’s efforts will pay for for Texan, and his Internet initiatives will pay off for the rest of us. After all, we do live in a free country. Right?
Online poker has seen a surge of popularity in recent years, mainly because it’s available to play day or night and comes with a variety of options traditional casinos simply don’t offer.
For starters, many sites allow you to play poker for free. Others will match a certain percentage above your initial deposit. This is great for those wanting to play purely for entertainment, or brush up on their skills, without worrying about losing too much money.
Whether you play for fun or play to win, there are never any lines in online poker rooms, and there are virtually thousands of themed games to choose. With so many options and real money at stake, it’s important to develop a sound poker strategy before diving in.
Avoid Beginner Pitfalls
You should always start with low-stakes poker. This will allow you to familiarize yourself with the game, which is slightly different from casino poker. Online gaming has a different nuance to it, which is best figured out from experience.
Many people that play poker in USA online are avid players so they tend to play more than one game at once. This is a tactic called multi-tabling and professionals even use it in live tournaments, but it’s risky for the novice. Starting out, it’s important to play one table at a time until you experience consistent wins.
Create the Right Gaming Environment
Playing online poker in the middle of the family room can pose many distractions, which may cause you to lose money if you lose focus. Treat online poker like traditional casino poker. Sit at a desk in a supportive chair, preferably in a closed office away from distractions.
If you do get to the point where you want to try your hand at multi-tabling, it’s important to have a high-resolution monitor, an ergonomic mouse, and even a wrist pad. More than just being physically comfortable, these considerations will help you avoid eyestrain and pain from prolonged playing.
Be Persistent
You can’t expect to win right off the bat. Poker takes practice and persistence, so try not to give up too easily. There have been many reports of online poker players working their way up to multi-tabling, high stakes games, and massive payoffs. Although rare, none of these players would have gotten there had they not been determined to be the best player they could possibly be.
Above all else, have fun. Online poker may provide a few payoffs here and there, but it’s best experienced as an exciting form of online entertainment.
The holidays are here, and for many people this is the best time of the year. You get together with friends and family, eat home cooked food, enjoy some cocktails and watch plenty of football.
But for many people, this time of the year can be a mini nightmare if you have one of those dysfunctional families, and the Wall Street Journal has a funny and frankly useful guide to surviving these get togethers. They call it “Dysfunctional Family Bingo” and it’s worth a read. Here are some examples:
Or consider this move from my mom’s playbook. Just before Thanksgiving this year, she called each one of her three daughters, who are nothing if not competitive, and announced that she would be awarding a “Miss Congeniality” prize at the end of the weekend.
Who won? Dad. “It wasn’t easy for him, but he held it together,” Mom says. Dad’s response: “Having everyone get along and be together was important to your mother. It was my job to stay out of the way.”
Cliff Mugnier, a 68-year-old surveyor and cartographer in Baton Rouge, La., minimizes conflict among his seven adult children by refusing to tell everyone in advance who else is coming to dinner. Rebecca Raibley, 61, a senior partner at a Boston investment relations firm, always invites a friend or two, so family members feel pressure to behave.
Greg Jensen, a 65-year-old retired human resources manager from Dallas with three sisters and a brother, visits just one sibling at a time. This year, he is meeting a sister in New Orleans for a five-day Christmas break. “I love all my siblings one at a time, but I just can’t take them all at once,” he says.
All of these are good ideas, but we have some ideas as well. First, if you’re traveling for the holidays and staying with family, make sure to plan some activities that take you out of the house. Go places. See other people. Just don’t spend all your time surrounded by people that will drive you nuts.
Also, plan on some time killers. Bring your iPad so you can catch up on movies, play games, use online time-killers like PartyBingo.com, or read some e-books. Or, make sure you have a deck of cards or even a chess board to kill time.
We also like the divide and conquer strategy mentioned above. Think about that when you’re planning activities. Take your mom to the mall, and your dad to a sports bar. Think about what works well on smaller groups and you’ll save yourself a ton of aggravation.
And finally, buy some good wine, craft beer or smooth Scotch. Anything that will dull the pain!
Most of us can’t get enough of classic Three Stooges slapstick and violence. Here’s an awesome clip, and now you can get the entire Three Stooges catalog on DVD! You can also follow the Three Stooges on Facebook for daily updates of stupidity.
