Don’t order too many shots of this stuff. It’s the most powerful whisky in the world, with 92% alcohol. Two shots can kill a man, and one shot should be enough to make any woman want to be your wex slave.

Frankly, this one doesn’t sound too serious, though Michael himself admits that it was his “own stupid fault, as usual.” The drugs were not hard drugs, but he was found slumped at the wheel of his car at Hyde Park Corner in central London.

Supermodel Kate Moss was stuck in a cocaine scandal just months ago, but now she’s poised to strike a multi-million-dollar deal with Calvin Klein, proving again that a pretty face and a tight ass will get you far in life.

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich says he had no idea “The Daily Show” was a comedy spoof of the news when he agreed to sit down for an interview that ended up poking fun at the sometimes-puzzled governor.

“It was going to be an interview on contraceptives … that’s all I knew about it,” Blagojevich laughingly told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch in a story for Thursday’s editions. “I had no idea I was going to be asked if I was ‘the gay governor.’ “

Dumbass.

That must explain why Mel Gibson feels the need to have his own personal bowling alley in his Fiji pad.

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Bang Cartoons steps outside the realm of sports to take a few potshots at everyone’s favorite hunting buddy, Vice President Dick Cheney. We just hope he doesn’t decide to shoot back.

Would you trust these morons to do your tax return? They can’t get their own return right.

What do you do after losing $14 million in various casinos? Naturally, you blame your medication and sue the casinos!

You’ll be hard-pressed to find two more annoying celebrities than Martha Stewart and Donald Trump. Lately the two idiots have been trading insults as they try to blame each other for Martha’s pathetic attempt to launch her own version of The Apprentice.

Martha started the latest round of insults by blaming Trump for the failure of her show. Accoring to Martha:

Her show, which was axed after one cycle, was supposed to be the sole “Apprentice” and was meant to start out with her firing Trump on the air, she told the magazine, repeating comments she’d made before.

Of course that was ridiculous. Her show failed because it sucked, and the Donald would never have surrendered his prized show.

The Donald responded by basically calling Martha a liar, even referring to her recent time spent in jail for lying.

Naturally, Trump’s show starts a new season next Monday, so this is probably all part of a publicity stunt by Trump. Say what you want about the man, he knows how to market his shit.

That said, his show has deteriorated as well. Last season sucked. Now that he’s opposite “24″ on Monday nights, will anyone without a TiVo watch his show?

Are we up to 5 Bond actors already? Anyways, the new Bond, British actor Daniel Craig, reportedly had two of his teeth knocked out while filming his very first fight scene.

Also, a bunch of whiny Bond fans have launched a web site to protest the selection of Craig.

Pretty lame.

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