..according to Todd & Sarah Palin. The late-night talkshow host told an off-color joke about their 14 yr. old daughter Willow, and now the Palins and the Letterman Show are at a stand-off. Letterman wants them to come on the show so that he can apologize and the Palins do not wish to give the show any bump in ratings.
“Concerning Letterman’s comments about my young daughter (and I doubt he’d ever dare make such comments about anyone else’s daughter): ‘Laughter incited by sexually-perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/N.Y. entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands — that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone’s daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others.’ “
Personally, I think Letterman made a stupid thoughtless joke and didn’t really think through what he was saying. Having said that: To make a joke about a celebrity’s child is at best inappropriate and uncalled for, to make a sexual joke about a minor is completely inexcusable. Back-pedaling and saying he meant the older child (that wasn’t in New York) doesn’t fix it.
‘Hello, is this the Sheriff’s Office?’
‘Yes. What can I do for you?’
‘I’m calling to report ’bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He’s hidin’ marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he’s a hidin’ it there.’
‘Thank you very much for the call, sir.’
The next day, twelve Sheriff’s Deputies descend on Virgil’s house.
They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly thereafter, the phone rings at Virgil’s house.
‘Hey, Virgil! This here’s Floyd….Did the Sheriff come?’
‘Yeah!’
‘Did they chop your firewood?’
‘Yep!’
‘Happy Birthday, buddy!’
Choosing A Wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he’d given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest breasts. shocker
The old farmer was having a pretty bad year. All of his crops had been lost. Fortunately, the peach orchard had done really well. The only way he was going to make it financially was to cut out the middleman and sell the peaches directly to the consumer. So he loaded his pickup with peaches and headed to town.
Just on the outskirts of town he came to a house. So he took a basket of peaches and went up and knocked on the door. A gorgeous blonde in a sheer robe answered the door. In a sexy voice she said, “Hi, Honey, what can I do for you?”
Quite shaken, the old farmer muttered, “I have these here really nice peaches for sale.”
The blonde, noticing how shaken he was, decided to play a bit. So she opened the top of her robe showing her breasts. She said, “Are those peaches full and firm like these?”
Very shaken, he managed to whisper, “Oh yes, they’re really good peaches.”
So she opened the rest of her robe, showing she had on no panties. She teased, “Would they be succulent and delicious like this?”
The old farmer mumbled, and then broke down crying, and said, “Oh yes, they’re wonderful peaches.”
She said, “Well, honey, why on earth are you crying?”
The old farmer whimpered “Lady, the cut worms ruined my tomato crop and the weevils ate all my cotton and now I think you’re gonna screw me out of my peaches.”
- Uncoached.com lists 15 of the hottest women from Venezuela.
- Check out Bullz-Eye.com’s original series the Def and Dum Show, Episode 2: “Bernie Madoff Piggy Bank”.
- HolyTaco.com is kicking off their 2009 Douchebag Tournament, which is the only tournament in the world that pits 64 douchebags in a winner-take-all tourney.
