Federal government is interested in research regarding an “ID bracelet” that potential airline passengers could wear that would contain personal information about them and, get this, also deliver an immobilizing shock to them if necessary!

Chinese man sticks 2008 needles in to his head to celebrate the Bejing Olympics. This tops his previous pin-heading-Guinness-World-Record count of one thousand, seven hundred and ninety.

Zombie boy.

Waiting for the worms.

Get ready to use duct tape to clean your hazardous waste from Mercury filled CFLs or the light-bulb police is gonna getcha. Congress :p

The deadliest blade since the Crysknife

But my PCs are all made in a plant in Sheboygan right? Sure.

Comedian George Carlin has died at age 71 from heart failure. Thanks for all the laughs, George. You will be missed.

You’re a man now, Seth! The family put a little something together for you. I swear they weren’t blotto or insane. Please don’t feel ashamed. Just slowly distance yourself from them if you can. It’ll be OK.

Worst Karaoke Session Ever – Watch more free videos

Well, at least it is when someone is reading an actual breakup letter dramatically, and you have the hilarious misspelled text in front of you to read along. Thankfully none of my exes were ever this half-illiterate. Too bad, as it could have been some comedy gold I would have been sharing, rather than the groovers over at YTMND!

No, it’s just a poor gal having a seizure while the rest of the group dances on. Now that’s commitment, kids.

It just keeps getting better. Another publically drunken idiot was recently arrested in Alabama, after motorists saw him nude on the highway. The man was tasered four times before being subdued by police. He claimed he was both Jesus Christ and George Bush and that he would break free from the handcuffs he was placed in. Good times!

More great news from grand old PA, where yours truly resides. A man in Lebanon, PA was recently “rescued” by police from a portable toilet. Apparently the dude was smashed out of his gourd, had taken off his clothes, and somehow got himself stuck in the holding tank of the john. The guy had to have been caked in some tasty diseases, I tell ya. Just say no, kids.

I’d like to divert your attention to to fine sex-related sites. Well, you should know that these are for those who like their sex funny, bad, or just down right disturbing. No, there are no gross pics of any kind at either of these, just good old user-generated content. Since these are definitely NSFW, I’ll just offer you the links. But please, do stop by Porno Haiku for all your scintillating 5-7-5 needs, and Bad Erotica, which is just what it says it is. You know, it’s like watching a train wreck of a bad porn flick, only in text. You want to look away, but you can’t, and the laughs are many.

As one commenter says about this clip, it’s very Zen. You gotta love the Japanese and their bizarre little toys that make even the most mundane things seem exciting. Oh, and for the record, this is an ear wax removal gadget…just so no one thought otherwise at first.

Time for a new roommate I say..brother or no.

You know, I’m beginning to think that maybe….just maybe those people who are always saying that cell phones can harm people are right. Watch the video and see for yourself.

Yum!

I’ll just let you read the story yourselves to figure out just what the hell this thing may or may not be.

(Speaking of finding weird things in food, just last week I found a huge, long black hair in the middle of a Snickers bar I was eating that I bought at my local supermarket. De-lish!)

Hooray for Shin Chan! Here’s an episoe entitled “Rainal Leakage” from the first season. Check out new episodes currently airing on Adult Swim.

Yowza.

Not so long ago, Blender magazine compiled a list of The 10 worst sets of teeth in rock and roll, as it were. It’s definitely hard to argue with their list. Actually, these are going to be giving me nightmares for some time to come.