Most crooks aren’t Rhode Scholars – or even all that street smart. However, some burglars really take the cake when it comes to trying to take everything else. At least they give something in return – great material for each edition of ‘Dumb Crook News.’ If you’re in the mood for a good laugh at someone else’s expense, take a look at these completely ridiculous burglaries. To make sure you don’t fall victim to these ridiculous burglaries, there are many security systems like www.securitychoice.com to keep these crooks at bay.
Get a Grip

Uncontrollable urges are, well, uncontrollable – especially for these criminals. In the end, that was their undoing. What did you expect? Self-discipline?

-If a burglar in Kansas City could have held his freak in until after the getaway, he might have been in the clear. When he tried to call his favorite phone-sex operator, the phone snapped a few pictures saving the police the trouble of taking the mug shots.

-When a burglar in Dusseldorf stashed his loot in the getaway car, he couldn’t resist toasting his success with a bottle of ‘hot’ bubbly. Instead of stopping after a sip or two, he drank until he passed out cold. The cops found him a few hours later still sleeping it off in the midst of his ill-gotten gains.

-In Delaware, an elderly woman woke up with an unwanted house guest. Just like a surreal version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, the front door was open, beer cans were strewn about and a strange man was passed out on her couch.

In bear-like fashion, the lady announced her intentions to call the police, and the man ran from the house – but not before grabbing another one for the road. He was nabbed a short while later quietly walking down the road savoring his last beer for a very long time.

Poetic Justice

Don’t you just love it when karma steps in and a crook gets just what they deserve? In these examples, we can only imagine what must have ran through their mind when they finally figured out what was going on. Whatever happened to casing the joint?

-In a hurry to get away, one unwitting thief was tackled by the entire defensive line as he made a mad dash across the field. If he had stopped to take a look at where he was going, he might have noticed Sacramento Sheriff’s Department on the jerseys. All those cop cars in the parking lot might have been another clue.

-A Colombian burglar’s greed was his undoing. After snagging a camera and a laptop, he started to search the rest of the house and found more than he ever bargained for – the private dojo of the local karate champion. Local that is if you consider the entire Pan-American continent a small neighborhood. The champ and several other black belts were in the middle of a practice. Needless to say, this guy didn’t have time to get an autograph.

-Imagine this guy’s surprise when he jumped a fence in Hungary to see what he could find – and boy, did he find something. On the other side was a fence of a different type; an Olympic-champion fencing master was practicing on the other side. Although our guy tried to get away, a sword-tip to his throat said ‘stay awhile’. This crook was pretty happy to go to jail after this experience.

Just Turn Yourself In and Save Everyone Else the Trouble

There’s no other explanation; some crooks have a secret desire to get caught. Why else would they announce the caper to the world complete with incriminating evidence?

-An Englishman was surprised during his break-in when the homeowners had the nerve to come home. He made a clean exit except for one thing: he left behind his man-purse complete with mug shot, prison ID card and his new address. You have to wonder if this guy was looking for a one-way ticket back to the big house.

-The first rule of home burglary should be to hide your loot from the original owner if you’re doing business close to home. No brainer – right? Wrong. An English crook stole his next-door neighbor’s window treatments and had the nerve to hang the curtains in the front windows for all to see.

-Meanwhile, in Mobile, Alabama, a man stole items from one neighbor to sell at yet a different neighbor’s yard sale. Why would anyone ever notice their stuff displayed within feet of where it was stolen?

-The second rule of home burglary should be to not post your escapades on Facebook. That’s right, the Facebook Burglar not only took pictures of the crime, but he couldn’t resist posting said images on the victim’s son’s Facebook profile. It’s amazing he didn’t Tweet about it while the crime was in progress.

Just Plain Stupid

There’s not much to say about these cases – these would-be burglars’ biggest crimes should have been their low IQs.

-OK genius – it’s an urn, not a stash. Five teenagers stole and snorted cremation ashes thinking the light-colored dust was cocaine or heroin. This misdeed was discovered when the group was arrested for another burglary.

-Two words – ski mask. Two young men in Iowa were caught after escaping from a botched (ya think?) burglary attempt. They were easy to identify because they had drawn on disguises with permanent markers. Guess they missed that week’s vocab quiz.

-One word – contacts. This guy was so nearsighted that he couldn’t even get away once he lost his glasses in the shuffle. When he went back to the house to ask for his glasses, the homeowners immediately called the cops.

Maybe Specializing Wasn’t a Good Idea?

These two criminals were caught because they had a special target in mind – although they reached their goal, they never could have imagined how it would actually turn out.

-In Western Michigan, a man had his eye on a treasure chest of knives at a local sporting goods store. While leaving, he tripped and fell on one of the knives earning him a long stay in the hospital and, finally, another notch on his criminal record.

-Who breaks into a funeral home anyway? When the Spanish cops investigated a burglary-in-progress at a funeral home, this thief decided to pretend he was supposed to be there by posing as a corpse in one of the empty coffins. The cops didn’t think his dirty clothes were appropriate funeral attire.

Conclusion

While these anecdotes are hilarious, home security is no joking matter and if you think you aren’t at risk, here are a few things to consider:

-A burglary is committed every 14.6 seconds in the US.
-The majority of break-ins happen during the day between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m.
-Most burglaries result in a loss of about $1,725.
-65.8% of all burglaries are residential.
-A home with no security system is 3X more likely to be burglarized that one with a system in place.
-34% of burglars come right through the front door.

After a late night drinking, few things go down as smooth as a little more alcohol. It sounds counterintuitive, but if you’ve ever sipped on a Bloody Mary at the beginning of a rough hangover, you know the hair of the dog that bit you is just the tonic you need. Every man should know how to make a good Bloody Mary, and Bullz-Eye’s got the perfect recipe:

1-1.5 ounces of vodka
4-6 ounces tomato juice
1-2 dashes of Tabasco sauce
2-4 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
1 dash of ground black pepper
1/8 tsp. pure horseradish (optional)
1 dash celery salt (optional)
1/2 ounce of lemon juice (optional)

Garnish with any or all of the following: celery stalk, olives, pickled green beans, carrot sticks, dill pickles, cucumber, cooked cold shrimp.

Pour tomato juice and vodka over ice into a glass (Collins or larger), add Tabasco, Worcestershire, pepper and other spices. Stir vigorously with swizzle stick or bar spoon, and add as many garnishes as you dare.

Don’t: Go crazy with any of the spice/sauce ingredients. If you’re not sure how much you want, err on the side of a bit less. A little of such items as celery salt or horseradish can go a very long way.

Do: Go crazy with the garnishes. They’re half the fun of a Bloody Mary.

Variations: Canadians like to substitute Clamato to make the highly addictive Bloody Caesar. Try it with gin. Also, and this is really radical, try it without booze. Virgin Marys can be immaculately tasty and really are good for hangovers and maybe colds, too.

The Bloody Mary isn’t the only drink every man should know how to make. To see Bullz-Eye’s guide classic drinks – the Manhattan, the Tom Collins – head over to the Bullz-Eye Get Real Guide for Men, sponsored by Bic.

Most of us know the most popular messaging services such as Yahoo, MSN Messenger and Google Talk. Most users of instant messaging are on one of these services. This can make it difficult if you have lots of chat buddies on several different network services. You may find yourself with lots of different applications open at one time, just to communicate with your contacts.

However, as mentioned before, there are two great applications that can make instant messaging with many different services a breeze. They are Pidgin IM and Miranda IM. One of the best features about these programs is that they are available at no cost. That’s correct — free. And even though they are offered at no charge they will not cause chaos and mayhem on your computer by adding malware or spyware. The reason for this is that these programs are part of the Open Source community and are safe to download.

Pidgin and Miranda enable users to consolidate all of their contacts and chat buddies from disparate networks on to one simple to use application. By using Miranda or Pidgin you will be able to see all of your contacts in one window and can chat with them seamlessly. This eliminates the need to switch back and forth between different chat applications.

Handbrake is an awesome utility that will not only compress DVD and other video sources into a single file, it will also create a final video file that is formatted and encoded properly for your Apple device. Sally looked at BestBuy and a few online retailers for a product that would compress and reformat her video library but came up empty handed.

She then looked at the Open Source software sources on the Internet and was very surprised to see the large number of utilities that claimed to do exactly what she wanted. After a few mis-starts with some spyware soaked programs, Sally read a recommendation for a good number of open source software programs, among them was VLC player, Xvid, and Handbrake. To her surprise, Handbrake installed easily and didn’t have any embedded spyware, gray ware or malware. She got the install done and was compressing her first DVD within 10 minutes. The program is so easy to use and has many automated features for even the novice end user that has attempted a video transfer. Sally was really impressed with the results as well. She could strip out the previews, menus and just start the movie exactly at the main title screen. Handbrake had so many flexible options that she started a huge conversion project for her favorite movies. Many people don’t know about programs like Handbrake because they assume for anything to be any good, they must pay a lot of money for it. In this case, the Open Source development efforts of people involved with Handbrake look out for the end-user and have produced a great and stable video compression product that helps get your media where you want it.

Fortunately there is a program out there than can fulfill the needs of these users, and even those of higher-end users. GIMP, GNU Image Manipulation Program, is a perfect alternative, not only because it is free, but it also provides many high-end photo manipulation and retouching features. The product is perfect for bloggers looking to update their logo, add a digital file, or using the animation features to make short videos, once you the Xvid download.

It is offered free as part of the Open Source, GNU General Public License community. It has won awards, as well as accolades from its user base. In fact, many professional designers and artists have been known to use GIMP over PhotoShop and other such programs.

GIMP can be used in several different ways. It can be used as a paint program or as a photo retouching program. It also has the ability to be a batch photo processing system. It will also render photos on a mass production scale, as well as having the ability to convert photo formats.

GIMP is easily customizable to individual user needs and tastes. There are widgets, customized icons and custom tool sets. The program uses modules or docks that will allow a user to toggle back and forth between images and open panes. It also has a preview feature that allows the user to see changes being made before actually having the program make those changes.

GIMP is a great program for anyone — amateur or professional — looking for a great photo editing application.

Basically, you start with a single idea or theme and branch out from there, adding topics and sub-topics that are in someway related to that idea. It actually works very similarly to the way the brain does function, thus why it is called mind mapping.

And of course, this process can be made easier through the use of a software package. One such package available is called FreeMind, a free, Open Source program available under the GNU General Public license. It is available on several different platforms so it is available to many users.

This award-winning program will allow you to create and edit a graphical view of your concept or idea. It approaches the idea process in a non-linear, creative approach. It allows users to approach traditional brainstorming from different angles — a sort of “thinking outside the box” approach.

Some features that FreeMind provides include:

-Ability to save files to XML
-Folding branches
-Ability to place clouds around branches
-Nodes can have individual icons
-Hyper linking from nodes to web pages and files
-FreeMind for the web can utilize Flash or Java
-Document export to OpenDocument or PDF for easy sharing
-FreeMind documents can be exported to XHTML as well as HTML
-Graphical linking

So the next time you need to be creative in your planning of ideas and goals, try using FreeMind and you might just find yourself much more successful because you were “thinking out side the box!”

The first thing you’ll need to do is access your website via FTP. This can be done through many desktop environments, including the “connect to server” option in Mac or the Microsoft Explorer interface in Windows, but you can also download free and lightweight FTP programs like FileZilla. Once you’re logged into your server, simply download the HTML file for the page that needs a fix.

Chances are the computer you’re on doesn’t have an advanced web editing program, but does have a standard NotePad program. HTML and CSS files can both be manipulated through NotePad. If you’re really looking to sort through the code effectively, you can even download open source software like NotePad++, which will let you see the code more readily.

Even without an expert-level set of experience in coding, you can browse through the HTML file in text editor, tracking down the text or code segment that needs a tweak. Once you’ve located the appropriate segment of the file, make the change and re-upload the HTML document via FTP. Confirm that you want to overwrite the file, then re-visit the page that had the error. Your fix should be visible, and you will be able to breathe a little easier knowing your site’s minor issue has been resolved.

-Use a web service.
There are various online storage sites that will allow you to keep data online. Not only does this allow you to have a backup for your files, but it means you can access the multimedia from any location where you can get on the net.

-Use external drives.
While the storage size of external drives has increased dramatically, the price has continued to decline. You can purchase an 8 gigabyte flash drive for just $15, giving you enough room to store up to 8000 minutes of audio or 800 minutes of video. Have more media than that? An external terabyte hard drive can be purchased for just $100.

-Use internal drives. A second hard-drive increases your system resilience in the case of a crash, and will help expand your storage dramatically. Internal hard drives, while a bit harder to install, are even cheaper than external drives.

-Use a web server.
If you’re willing to pay a small monthly fee, you can get essentially unlimited online storage space through a web server. While you’ll have to learn how to use FTPS, this is one of the most reliable backup methods.

By using one of these simple tactics, you can rest assured that, no matter what happens to the rest of your computer, your multimedia will be safe.

The first thing to do is get a file sharing program that is current, legal, and secure. Ares is a great option, since it is open source and free of charge. Thanks to its open source status, Ares typically has any security holes patches within just days of discovery.

Next, when doing file sharing, keep the following in mind:

-Illegal software is a perfect hiding spot for malware. After all, you’re not going to raise a legal fuss if your system is infested! Thus, breaking the law also increases your chances of breaking your computer.

-Check your file size. Files that are too large or too small may well be malicious in nature.

-Beware of compressed files. You won’t be able to see what files are inside, and it’s more difficult to scan these compressed folders for malicious software.

Additionally, once you’ve completed your download through Ares, it’s a good idea to scan not just the file, but the entire download folder to be certain that nothing has slipped past your radar.

Good luck, and happy downloading!

With prepackaged software, you can encounter a few pitfalls.

-The program may not meet your exact needs, which means you have to modify your business model to work with the program.

-The software package may lock you in to one type of manufacturer. For example, Windows usually designs its products to work on Windows operating systems.

-The program may cost hundreds or thousands of dollars.

Open source software, such as KMPlayer or VLC media player, helps you avoid these pitfalls. You can customize the code to modify everything from the user interface to the way the media player works. Many open source programs actually have versions available for various operating systems. If you prefer Linux to Mac, you can find the right version without having to pay any additional costs for the specific version.

Customizing your software programs can provide you with a competitive edge that will allow you to surpass the competition. Modifying the source code lets you create a program designed to boost your productivity. Additionally, you can use part of the source code to create a new program without having to pay a royalty or fee to the open source developer. For example, KMPlayer is a front-end program that relies on MPlayer for its back-end support.

You don’t have to rely only on open source programs for a customized software package, but it can be a starting point for you. Even if you have no experience modifying code, you can usually hire a programmer to make the modifications for you for less than it would cost to buy a package that won’t fit your needs perfectly.

1. Consider what games you’ll be playing.

Games like Assault Cube work well on any system. If this is your favorite game, you might not need to upgrade at all because the game only needs 40 MB for its package and 20 KB for each additional map. It even works with 56 Kbps connection speeds. However, if you’re planning to play World of Warcraft, you want a computer designed to handle RAM-hogging applications.

2. Determine what systems you run simultaneously.

Most online games provide you with the amount of RAM you need to run the program if you have no additional programs running on your computer during play. However, people rarely only have one program open. Your operating system may have an anti-virus program running, an Internet browser connecting you to the gaming interface, and email notifications running at the same time. If you don’t have enough RAM for all the programs, your system will begin to freeze, negatively affecting your game.

3. Look at things that will affect graphics.

The quality of your online gaming experience can boil down to your computer’s ability to handle graphics. Having an advanced processor, such as a quad; a graphics card that can handle the game you prefer; and a monitor capable of displaying high-quality graphics will ensure you have the best system in place for gaming.

Upgrading your computer can be the difference between liking online games and loving them. When it’s time to upgrade, keep the games you’ll be playing and your operating system in mind.

-Freeware, like TightVNC, is actually free. It is not a trial version, and a company didn’t design it as a marketing ploy.

-Trialware provides free access to a program for a set length of time. When the trial expires, you must purchase the program to continue using it.

-Shareware encourages consumers to use other products from the company. For example, Adobe Flash is a free product that the company shares with users to gain loyal customers who will purchase Adobe software packages.

The Benefits of Using Freeware

Of the three options, freeware is the only category designed with true freedom in mind. Many freeware programs fall under the Open Source Initiative, which means they are free of malicious coding like viruses or spyware. Examples of Open Source software are Openoffice, Ares, and Xvid, these programs are similar to their well-known competitios, except they offer the convenience of free software without the risk of corruptions.

Additionally, websites that offer freeware downloads usually screen the download options to ensure closed-source programs are also from reputable developers who aren’t out to steal your personal financial information. Usually, these sites will pull a download from the site should a user discover a problem with the program.

Finally, freeware can compete with commercial products. In some cases, the freeware program provides a competitive set of features and a large support network that can rival the offerings from a commercial company. Consider programs that offer remote computer access. You could use the trialware GoToMyPC and buy it if you like it, or you could start with the freeware program TightVNC and continue to use it as long as you like.

As you can see, freeware is different — and better — than trialware and shareware. When you want to expand your computer’s functions, consider freeware applications.

VLC may have your answer. Even though VLC is capable of playing a wide spectrum of sound files and windows media, where it really makes its mark is as a video player. Although VLC is a lightweight audio and video player, it would seem it could show some of the same issues as other players. However, after using VLC for quite some time, you will find that VLC has no problem locating the correct codecs for your movies. It won’t have to order you to go find a file and then do something completely confusing to get it up and running.

Users will be hard put to find a codec that VLC will not play. You may not find a wonderfully aesthetic video player frame, filled with silly buttons and odd looking gadgets, but what you will find is a player that will quickly and smoothly play any video you set it to.

While many video players will provide you with an install wizard to help you get things up and running, VLC will make sure that for novice users, access to that wizard is permanent. VLC allows users to change the control interface to alter functionality.

Since VLC player rarely has trouble recognizing codecs, this may be the perfect player for you and your family. With little to no experience, you can manage your video player like an expert.

Operating Systems

Whether you’re building a machine from scratch or simply upgrading, there’s no need to purchase an expensive OS from Microsoft or Apple when you can simply install a version of Linux on your computer. With the wide variety to choose from, you can even find one that looks and functions just like your favorite commercial product.

File Sharing Programs

While you can always find a file sharing program to purchase, why would you want to? With robust peer-to-peer file sharing applications like Ares and Cabos available for free, you couldn’t possibly purchase a better option.

Media Players

Tired of finding that perfect movie or music file only to discover Windows Media Player and Quicktime won’t play it? This can be a problem of the past when you upgrade to an open source media player like VLC Player or BS Player. Shh – don’t tell anyone, but you can even download the Xvid Codec for free to go along with your new player. This little bit of code allows users to easily watch or make videos using the MPEG-4 standard.

Business Software

If your computer didn’t come with Microsoft Office, there’s no need to decide between chunking out some cash for this preferred software package or making do with Microsoft Works. Simply switch over to the fully compatible OpenOffice.org suite of programs.

The best part about using free downloads is the freedom of commitment. If you don’t like what you originally chose, simply try something new!

OpenOffice Does Everything, For Free!

As an open source project, OpenOffice is completely free to download and use on any computer. It comes with the following components:

-Writer – word processing tool
-Calc – spreadsheet tool
-Impress – presentation tool
-Draw – graphics tool
-Base – database tool

Sound familiar? It should! These are the same functions included in the MS Office Suite. OpenOffice can even exchange files with all of the other popular office software suites including MS Office. To make it even better, OpenOffice can be installed on virtually any device, it is available in a wide range of languages, and the development staff is constantly improving the product. In fact, you can even become part of this open source project by offering your input and suggestions!

When To Stick with MS Office

If MS Office has some type of functionality that you can’t live without, you should definitely spend the extra money to purchase a license. However, the OpenOffice team has practically made it their goal in life to develop a product that’s even better than Microsoft’s suite of business management programs. It’s only a matter of time before OpenOffice not only catches up to MS Office completely, but exceeds it.

Why not try this free suite of business management programs today?

The internet can be such a wonderful place. No matter what your interest, what your vice, there is always something to sate your appetite. If you want to watch fat guys eat entire blocks of cheese, you can do that. If you want to pay a little cash for a webcam enabled gaming session with a young hottie, you can do that too.

Playwithme.com is a growing site in a small sector of services that allow you to pay cash to play video games with hot ladies. It’s pretty simple, and works like most other webcam services. You pay money for credits, which correspond to a certain number of minutes with the lady of your choice. You get to to choose the game you’ll play together from a variety of Flash games, but you can also play on the console if you like.

If you want my advice, go for the Flash games. It’s much easier to chat with your new webcam friend when you’re playing Checkers than it is when you’re trying to land a grenade toss in Halo. Trust me.

Voting is simple. You can cast a ballot for your hometown on the web or by texting your vote to a secret number, available only at Hess and Maverik stores across the country. Those who vote will be automatically entered to win the event package, representing either Hess or Maverik for the world’s fans. This is your chance to bring the WEC to your backyard. Get the word out, and get voting!

Many sites on the web offer ringtones for free. The good news is that not only do some websites offer an incredible range of these ringtones; you can also join the site for free and actually create your own ringtones, right there on the spot. That’s cool.

The better news is that while you are enjoying creative fun with ringtones, certain high-end websites allow you to also design wallpaper or produce videos for you own personal cell phone use. Incredible as it may sound, you can build a social network and share products from your creative endeavors with friends, absolutely free of charge!

Now get this: besides all the perks just mentioned, if you come up with some outstanding wallpaper or even a video or two that deserves more than just your friends’ attention, certain websites will let members make money on personal designs by allowing the public to access their designs and creations (all with permission of course). This means that people download your products and you make money. Whoa!

Who would have thought that something as simple as cool new free ringtones for you cell phone could morph into something as auspicious as good music, plus creative designs for wallpaper and videos? All this for friends, family and cash. Now that is really cool.